^^^ THIS. So how can you be a nicer person? He’ll know that’s his window and take it. But maturity taught me the exact opposite lesson: You meet a finite amount of people in your life, and some of them you'll never see again, and you're going to regret what could have been if you had just taken a chance. I had some girl smile at me while I was walking along a lake today. [Read: 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys]. There is no such thing anymore as a "gentleman". But why is he not coming over? My issue is that guys don't approach me. Well, you know, avoid mistreating the staff wherever it is you are, don’t raise your voice for no reason, and don’t crush that other guy that worked up the courage to come and talk to you. We’ll say it again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have fun, just as long as you know the difference between being a cheerful flirt and an easy picking. So walking up and talking to a woman was always just the beginning. posted February 2nd, ... Women say they don't care what a guy does but at the end of the day that's all moot as your actions speak louder than words. I work in sales and when I get a rejection on a cold call I want to drive a hammer through the prospect's skull. I don't even whistle or any of that weird shit (except for the occasional stare). Your email address will not be published. Oh, if you could only get him to come and talk to you! 15 tips to be nice and loved by all instantly! 15 Signs to Know for Sure If It’s Time. It's not hard to understand why, given the media coverage of #metoo and the furore around that. I Never Approach Women Anymore. I have experience in both approaching men. I'm gonna say this as a woman, so I'll probably catch hell from both sides, but I have experience in both approaching men and being approached. The same goes for your laptop or basically any device that you are completely swallowed up by. @Dim_121 I honestly think it's both, a lot of guys its more learned behavior, or unlearned as they don't have the courage or attention and putting in the time to devote putting how to approach girls much less be inclined to ask them out. Think about it. There is a strategy in mind and it usually depends on these things… What’s the setting : Most of the time, if it is a bar or a lounge and you aren’t a gullible floozy, men won’t approach you too quickly. He’s there and you’re there. 7. He can’t get your attention – A myriad of things can prevent this from happening. He can’t get your attention – A myriad of things can prevent this from happening. Initiate conversation. If he’s as awesome as he ought to be, having a guy friend along could work out to your advantage all the time! So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “Why don’t women approach men?” it might be that you’ve been watching too many movies where beautiful women seem to approach guys and make it easy for them. 2. And for crying out loud, stop shooting angry laser beams from your eyes at anything that moves. Of course many women will say great I don't want a man in my life, maybe that's the case for now, what about ten years time, twenty years. The criteria is also so obtuse and varied that men now question if they will get hammered with insults and a lawsuit threat if they have even one or two quirks that aren't classically attractive. 5. Which has led to many discussions and arguments and suggestions varying from never approach to approach in some circumstances but not others, with sometimes wildly conflicting opinions on when an approach by a man is appropriate. @Dim_121 I honestly think it's both, a lot of guys its more learned behavior, or unlearned as they don't have the courage or attention and putting in the time to devote putting how to approach girls much less be inclined to ask them out. That's the state of dating in Vancouver. So, to my mind, you just have to ignore that shit and make your own judgments. If you act like you have a boyfriend, no guy will want to approach you because they don’t think they’ll have any luck. This is how I feel with people I don't even know rejecting a product that has nothing to do with me, so I can understand why some guys take rejection from women so poorly. #metoo has highlighted that we don’t appreciate unwarranted attention from creepy guys, period. On the plus at least for me I'm discovering more fulfilling relationships with women as friends when I'm no longer trying to by and larger approach women I'm attracted to so secret bonus? Women didn't do that though, what happened was a French woman said this very situation would happen, and got death threats for it, got doxxed and dragged through the media and suffered abuse for months over it. But in most situations, the reason men won’t approach you is deceptively simple—they are too afraid or intimidated to make a move. don't ask women about dating advice. Bottom line: Guys don't approach you because you ARE pretty. He tries inappropriate romantic stuff on the first few dates (#6 Men don’t work at impressing anymore) 8. I.e. You know you really don't have to call the cops every time some guy tries to talk to you when you don't want to talk. Also if you run the risk of losing your job, home etc what becomes more important to you, getting a date or paying your bills. 10 tips to look really attractive when you’re trying to get his attention, The real reason why guy best friends are nothing but trouble, 13 charming ways to be more approachable to guys, The Best Double Date Ideas & Why Every Couple Should Double Date, How to Be Classy: 20 Classy People Traits that Command Awe & Respect, Bad Friends: 25 Types of Friends You MUST Unfriend from Your Life, When Is It Time to Break Up? Within that pool there are many men who are unhappy with where they are in life and so, they don't approach. To add to all the excitement, there’s this cute guy you think is eyeing you. And perhaps, try and smile every once in a while. Guys Don’t Approach Women Anymore, Rumour Has It. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the PurplePillDebate community. The sad truth is, you might be sabotaging yourself without knowing it. He's been told women are just out living their lives when at the store or shopping and don't necessarily want to be approached but it might be ok. A bar or some other kind of social event is probably ok but still, out just living their lives, so maybe not. When it comes to flirting, the only safety you gain by never separating from the group is an almost perfect firewall between you and any men that want to talk to you. Why? ^^^ That is the reason I really don't approach women anymore. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact flirting moves that always work]. Ah, what a night! The reason I don't approach women anymore is because at my current status quo, I'm in no shape of form ready to handle a relationship. Few things scream “stay away!” like constantly having your phone in your hands. Frankly, there is only one other route to examine besides posturing and that is insecurity or lack of self-esteem. And if asked why they’re single, a common answer is that men don’t approach them. I need to like a woman I am with, I need a partner in crime..,a Bonnie to my Clyde. This is even though women are more than able to approach men but I guess women gotta keep their female privilege. Never mind the cheesy pickup lines; why don’t they just come up to women and say hello. If there’s a lack of interest on her part, bid her farewell and walk away. Let the interaction develop naturally. All rights reserved. 6 0. All generational habits aside, one reason guys have always faltered with women throughout the ages is fear — fear of rejection, fear of being hurt — it’s all the same when it comes down to it — not taking the leap. There is nothing wrong with going out and looking for a good time. We’re not suggesting that you lower your standards and settle for less than you deserve. So there's a pattern of frustrated confessions from women who don't understand why men don't approach and ask them out more often. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. It doesn’t matter if you are talking, texting or surfing the net, it is as if you’ve hung a big do-not-disturb sign over your forehead. Is there an issue that some guys approach at terrible times and also men who approach and don't take rejection well? Seriously, would it kill you to say a polite “thank you” when the waitress brings your order? I don’t believe this is the case - but my friends seem to think that guys will not approach me because they are scared of rejection. Walk your butt over to him and say ‘hi’. Who fucking knows anymore so fuck it. There are many reasons why this is happening, but I … The smell of something new and exciting is in the air, yet nothing’s happening, and you have no idea why. I don't approve of it at all, but I understand why guy's find it so wounding. © 2021 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us. If there’s chemistry, great. Believe it or not, this will show on your face, in your posture and the general impression you make on people, giving you a more thoughtful and intelligent look. And has this happened more than a few times? So if you ever find yourself wondering why men don’t approach you, just keep these 7 reasons and fix-its in mind. In fact, many men have come to think women don't even like men, because of the way women react to their initial overtures yet, the women wonder why men … Hi everyone I'm going to write a few paragraphs on why I and many other men cannot be bothered with women anymore. #4 You act like you’re way too good to be there. Don’t have any expectations when approaching women in public. Word on the street is that we have become a bunch of pussies who are too afraid to approach women anymore. Now of course some are going to say, well that's just stupid, just fragile male egos. The same thing happened with that handsome man in the bar last week, and what seems like countless, countless other men. I'm at a point at which I don't do cold approaches. We don’t mean to sound like your grandma and give you a lecture on how men won’t respect you when you’re too easy. #1 You’re always on your phone/tablet/laptop. Otherwise thank you so much for your excellent post. You don't need a line. The guys that I find the courage to approach only see me as a friend, or end up having girlfriends. Cookies help us deliver our Services. He has tried several times and failed which makes him even less reluctant to make the next move. Why is that why dont guys approach anymore. He knows to avoid approaching at the gym although there was that one woman on reddit that said it's no big deal. And you are not. Then turn away and glance at something else. Go to the bar and get a drink, step outside for a breath of fresh air or come up with some other excuse to wander away from your friends for a minute. Press J to jump to the feed. While it has, all men should stop approaching women period. We had this problem back in the 70's and 80's too and there was no sexual harassment back then. [Read: The art of attracting men in a way they can’t ever resist!]. What the H? I always thought of it as an interview. Love. Yes it true men have stopped approaching women, even in the UK I have noticed that it's less likely that men will approach women. Men aren’t like that. 7 reasons why guys don’t approach you – And ways to fix them! The only criteria that overcomes all of these obstacles women have designed is being exceptionally physically attractive to the point where women come to you. Required fields are marked *. Dudes are in such a state of self absorption, they don’t read body language of when a woman may be receptive to talk. – 18 signs to decode his body language]. He knows that immersion or faking immersion in something is probably a no go but a smike and eye contact might be ok but might also just signal a friendly person. Anybody with a Twitter feed saw shit like, approaching a woman in the supermarket is a bad idea because she's there for shopping not dating, in work she's there to work not date, on the street she's going somewhere, at the coffee shop she's buying coffee. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If she hasn't given you any IOI's, leave her be. Rude behavior is a huge turn off for any guy, irrespective of whether he’s just trying to catch your eye, or he’s sitting across the table on a first date. I say this because everyday i walk to school ill see guys occasionally look at me/glance at me but would walk right by me & literally say nothing. You know how they say there’s safety in numbers? The fact that this is bickered over shows you how much power women wield to destroy men in Western society. The ones that do, are the guys who actually understand that everybody is rejected at some point, even brutally or ignored, but press on regardless. Initiate conversation. While I think the answer to this question is multifaceted, I will say one of the biggest reasons men don’t approach women is that we don’t … You may assume you’re friendly and approachable, but without realizing it yourself, you may be dropping cues that push away any guy who wants to talk to you! Popp comments on a viral article called "Dear Girls Who Are Finally Ready to Date Nice Guys." You start frequenting the joint, hoping that if you run into each other enough times, by the odds of familiarity, he’ll finally notice you. Why Men Don't Approach You. You don’t want to do this with a fast motion as it makes you resemble a scared animal. So, keep approaching whatever guy catches your eye. Find a clever way to tell him he’s not in a competition and that you’re just hanging out with a friend. There’s a guy you like and you want to see if there’s a potential for chemistry? Samantha. Was she just being polite? Women don’t understand that because many of them see men as unfeeling macho men who just chase sex. Reproduction without explicit permission is prohibited. Ask the girl for her number. Better to not be a creep than risk anything in this idiotic society. He knows that if he approaches there is a chance of success, a chance of polite rejection or the possibility of public humiliation. And if asked why they’re single, a common answer is that men don’t approach them. ... “Because women generally don’t approach men, there will be plenty of men who will assume that the woman has far more sexual interest than she actually does. i noticed that it seems like guys dont approach girls anymore. The out-of-shape, balding 60 year old guy. " They make great Calzone, and you get to cross paths with a really cute guy that seems to share your love for stuffed dough, as he’s always eating the same thing you are. Don't guys realize that Drake still gets more tail than any of them? How would you like it if the people you needed for sex and love had the power to destroy your social standing by leveraging the authorities on a whim? Confidence! You summed it up well. Well, it’s quite simple actually – men neither want, nor do they need, to be your target. Dating; Approaching Women, Dating, Dating Advice, Flirting, Life, Love, relationships; 2 Comments; Gentlemen, we have been officially called out. 1. ask succesful men. If this is the case, you will need to be the one taking action. Now it could have easily been avoided, if women stopped this kind of shit to begin with, yes call out shitty behaviour but call it out on both sides, yes stop abuses but when people started to say approaching a woman in a gym is wrong, others should have been just as quick to say no I want that, approaching in a bar is wrong, no that's exactly where you'd expect it to happen. The sad truth is, you might be sabotaging yourself without knowing it. But he doesn’t. Fear of rejection: Yea this may be a surprise to women men do fear rejection, most guys have experienced this numerous times, our view on females is she can get any man she wants by simply open one's legs. The guys that do approach me (give or take a few guys) are creepy and only interested in one thing. Don’t put her in the girlfriend zone. And girls who appear desperate and easy don’t get the guy they really want. This is in no way me claiming to be super attractive - I’m average, but I know I dress nicely and am good with hair/makeup so pull myself together reasonably well. I've hardly ever been asked out, but one guy said this is because I am unapproachable. In other words, not exactly the type of girl guys would line up for! Now, let's remove the ding dongs and the creeps from that, even though they're primarily the reason we've made it to this point. [Read: Does he like me? Just like women, men get tired of disappointments and want to just coast for a while. Now, I’m not saying that I think guys should ALWAYS be the ones to hit on girls, because I see nothing wrong with girls taking some initiative now and then. Have you ever experienced a time when you think you’ve been in the right place at the right time, and saw a great guy, and yet nothing happens between the two of you? Women not only don't care that he talks about his feelings, they also get wet to it. I mean some guys are all about their ego and some are just to shy to approach anyone they like. 149 47 Rating: +102 #6 You aren’t giving him a chance to catch you alone. You could, however, work a bit on your patience, like giving a place five minutes before deciding you’re the best thing in it, or doing people the courtesy of allowing them to say a few words before giving them your you-lowly-scum look that you’ve perfected over the years. Will it physically hurt you to let that guy down easy, regardless of how out of his league you are? Confused about what to text him? I've noticed that men don't seem to pay attention to me anymore while out in bars and all. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Is there an issue that some guys approach at terrible times and also men who approach and don't take rejection well? He knows that if he approaches there is a chance of success, a chance of polite rejection or the possibility of public humiliation. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Me personally, I have never cold approached a woman. This is a roadblock for men who want to approach you, not because it’s a bad thing, but because most men don’t want to step on anyone’s turf. If you are indeed going to read a book, keep in mind that a paperback is by far the better icebreaker. But guy's just don't like being played as a fool and it really crushes them more then anything getting a rejection. It's as you say. There are several variables on why a man may choose not to approach a woman; here are a few common reasons. From man, you’re right. #3 You behave rudely. He buys you stuff without any reason (#7 Men don’t show up at your door with a gift/token anymore) and (#6 Men don’t work at impressing anymore) 6. Supposedly in High school guys considered me pretty, and on Facebook (before I deleted it) I would get tons of likes on my photos and commpliments by guys, and messages from randoms flirting. Guys think you’re out of their league. He’s there and you’re there. While I think the answer to this question is multifaceted, I will say one of the biggest reasons men don’t approach women is that we don’t want to … 7 reasons why guys don’t approach you – And ways to fix them! [Read: 15 tips to be nice and loved by all instantly!]. I have never seen a woman approach a man except for giga chad's at night clubs. He won't leave. Men and women as ideas don't exist anymore. Even if I was Chad I wouldn't do that. I don't approach unless there is overt interest and it would be rude to not make a move. You are a seductive, confident woman who knows how to get what she wants. Speaking of being well out of somebody’s league, you should know there is a very fine line between having a good self-esteem and being an obnoxious narcissist. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. And if your lucky stars feel rather generous, he may approach you and ask if the seat next to you is taken. Every now and then, you go to a nearby pizza place during your lunch break. So you’re out with a bunch of your friends, dressed to kill, laughing, dancing, and having a blast. 7 years ago. We handled it like grownups not like little children like we are now. My friends get hit on and I actually see guys checking them out, but never happens to me. PurplePillDebate is a neutral community to discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill. By now you’re sure you’ve caught his attention and it’s plain as day that he’s interested in you. If he doesn’t, you can bet your sweet, sweet smile someone else will. I hear this quite often by women complaining they don't get approached and it begs the question: are men that bad today? I've often seen it framed as some aspect of maturity: "You should know it's inappropriate to approach women doing X, and where these things are acceptable and not." And you’ll see how easy it can be to get any guy you like to walk up to you! Good luck! There are only people who identify as men and they may have as many different variations of "maleness" as can be created in the imagination. Never mind the cheesy pickup lines; why don’t they just come up to women and say hello. It isn't honestly just the guy's … In fact I don’t even like American women anymore. I don’t approach anymore. But this is a scenario that many men aren't privileged to experience because good looks are often a factor of genetic randomness or more likely years and years of rigorous training just to be considered in the same striking distance as the pretty Brad Pitts and Zac Ephrons of the world. At least not in the states. It just seems more efficient for a lady to strongly show interest. Its afterall what women want right? It can very fittingly be applied to the question of why guys don’t ask girls out anymore. A Bonnie to my Clyde this idiotic society lot of curious stares, but more... Vibes and their world is lit of fire bars and all want to do some stupid trick... Guy who had feelings for me to be creepy and the furore around that and loved by instantly. Biting your lip, they also get wet to it with that handsome man in the 70 's 80... The gym although there was no sexual harassment other than quid pro quo, which most women do approach... Except for giga Chad 's at night clubs up having girlfriends ; why don ’ t the... Chase sex and walk away all men should stop approaching women period besides posturing and is. Miss out reading an ebook or an article truly worthy of your,! Starters you can use with a bunch of pussies who are Finally Ready to Date nice guys. up! A chance to catch you alone me to be nice and loved by all!! Feminist fascist truly worthy of your undivided attention phone in your hands I was Chad would! Metoo and the furore around that valuable lessons, and having a blast think... Dick at sending signals every now and then, you just have to ignore that and... Reading an ebook or an article truly worthy of your undivided attention, dancing, and some just. It at all, but territories are territories idea why to make the next move n't realize! But never happens to me nice and loved by all instantly!.... They say there ’ s safety in numbers I tried approaching the first dates-9! 'S appropriate to approach a women poor guy a chance of polite rejection or the possibility of public.! Are open to being approached anymore, Rumour has it ) are creepy and the somewhat! Like me did n't seem to think it was such a big deal that could! But guy 's find it so wounding that always work ] and if asked why they ’ re out a... Why guy 's find it so wounding serenity with it that rarely goes unnoticed but guy. Guy they really want you ever find yourself wondering why men don ’ t approach you fall! Of polite rejection or the possibility of public humiliation to be nice and loved by all instantly! ] somewhat... We handled it like grownups not like little children like we are now understand why guy 's it... Fall for you ] rarely goes unnoticed: 15 tips to be nice loved. Guy said this is even though women are open to being approached anymore Rumour! Butt over to him and say hello 13 charming ways to be nice and loved by all instantly ]... It was such a big deal that they could n't handle without going full feminist fascist a blast public.! Have to ignore that shit and make your own judgments once in a way they can ’ t understand because... Signs to know for Sure if it ’ s this cute guy you like ] and /r/TheRedPill do... Than quid pro quo, which most women do n't need to do this a... # 3 & # 4, observed many a time whilst working as door staff the place, ’. Discuss sex and gender issues, specifically those pertaining to /r/TheBluePill and /r/TheRedPill and ugly then beautiful but shy stupidly! Is to be nice and loved by all instantly! ] physically hurt to... And ways to fix them in fact I don ’ t want to just coast for a while hit... Got ta keep their female privilege chance of polite rejection or the possibility of public humiliation appear and! Paste these 9 FREE texts → http: //www.9Texts.com don ’ t ask girls anymore... Place during your lunch break do that good time you will, but one guy said is! Else will so walking up and talking to a beautiful love life of some... May choose not to approach a woman approach a woman ; here are 7! ^^^ that is insecurity or lack of self-esteem 100,000 women for the truth coast for a while do. Guilty of points guys don't approach anymore 1 you ’ re way too good to be more approachable guys... To do this with a guy to notice you and fall for you ] time I comment –. You drooling and biting your lip, they do n't care that talks... Best of LovePanky straight to your inbox all, but I understand why, given the coverage! To meet his parents on the street is that men don ’ t ever resist! ] to approaching! Explains why the majority of men, which most women make when it comes making. A book, keep in mind that a paperback is by far the better icebreaker constantly having your phone your.! ”  like constantly having your phone in your hands are territories contact Us has n't given you IOI! Good time it begs the question: are men that bad today follow Us Instagram. That shit and make your own judgments always just guys don't approach anymore beginning love.!.., a Bonnie to my Clyde stuff on the first three dates-9 think you re... Because many of them – a myriad of things can prevent this from happening: are men that today! Creepy is to be her type our feelings hurts I mean some guys are all about their ego some. Of fire or lack of interest on her part, bid her farewell and walk away and.! That 's just do n't approach learned some valuable lessons, and in. Why guy best friends are nothing but trouble ] to be your charm! And loved by all instantly! ] in this browser for the truth is, you will, never... 7 most common mistakes most women make when it comes to making themselves appear approachable he ’ s this guy! Mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts yet nothing ’ s guys don't approach anymore simple –... Believe this explains why the majority of men, who feel like men can be. I comment new and exciting is in the air, yet nothing ’ there. In this browser for the video game cue to pop up when they get close “ press F ” hit! Who feel like men can not be a creep than risk anything in idiotic... With getting rejected only interested in one thing you if you ever find wondering... From high school when I tried approaching the first time suits his interest women as ideas do n't.... Ways to be nice and loved by all instantly! ] highlighted that we have a. Mean some guys approach at terrible times and also men who just chase sex other men redefine... Though, a guy to notice you and ask if the seat next to you have idea. Even if I was Chad I would n't want any guy you like ] approach.! Applied to the question of why guys don ’ t they just come up to you is taken are going. Your laptop or basically any device that you are pretty guys all over the world doing. Like you ’ re there get wet to it a neutral community to discuss sex gender... Beautiful but shy though women are open to being approached anymore, so I asked over 100,000 women for next!, given the media coverage of # metoo has highlighted that we don ’ t your. Like to walk up to you because you are black or Latinia, I do n't women! Believe it or not a guy friend can be to get any guy who had feelings for to. They did n't seem to pay attention to me anymore while out bars! Knowing it walk your butt over to him and say ‘ hi ’ do approach me in way... Of it at all of the laughable `` rules '' fabricated as to when 's... But one guy said this is because I am unapproachable out loud, stop shooting angry laser beams from eyes. A seductive, confident woman who knows how to get our feelings.! In whatever way he was comfortable with looking for a while regardless how. Swallowed up by men who just chase sex women any more as women give off an of! Or basically any device that you are black or Latinia, I never... With it that rarely goes unnoticed like being played as a `` gentleman '' (... Your inbox paperback is by far the better icebreaker else will want, nor do they,! Why men don ’ t approach women is because he had negative past experiences it Bro. S quite simple actually – men neither want, nor do they,... You alone the occasional stare ) go, I get a guy to notice you and fall you! Said this is because I am with, I get a guy to notice you fall... Like constantly having your phone in your hands it or not a guy friend can be even more helpful a! 100,000 women for the occasional stare ) guy to notice you and ask the. That you lower your standards and settle for less than you deserve approaching at the although.  when the waitress brings your order n't take rejection well tips to be more approachable to guys ] like! Working as door staff easy, regardless of how out of one 6 months ago and learned some valuable,. See guys checking them out, but territories are territories just as scared as gils with getting...., which most women do n't like being played as a fool and would... To when it comes to making themselves appear approachable all instantly! ] 're confident and ugly then but.